Sixth Grade Lunch

Sixth graders can be rather 'spazzy.' In other news, the sky is blue and the Earth is still round.

Seriously, though...I had the opportunity to eat lunch with my wife at school today. The sixth grade Christmas party was canceled due to a winter storm and was rescheduled for today. My wife, one of the sixth grade teachers, invited me to join the party. I rarely get to spend time with her during the day, so I jumped at the chance.

It was a decent menu. I dined on Funyuns and a Torpedo from La Gondola (or as I like to call it, the poor man's Avanti's). Oh yes, the ever-present Diet Dr. Pepper was also involved.

Which brings me back to my opening statement...Sixth graders can be rather 'spazzy.'

I heard things today that would turn the stomach of even the most dedicated Jackass fan.

Things like, "I once threw up a Skittle, caught it in my mouth, and ate it again." I'd like to be clear...this comment was from a female. Classic.

I witnessed a boy drinking Dr. Pepper from a 2-Liter bottle. His mom thought he needed to bring a drink to share with the class, but he only needed to provide for himself. My wife offered him a cup. Apparently, he didn't need one.

The little Dr. Pepper fan was a funny kid, though. I was surprised how smart and witty sixth graders can be.

I was equally shocked at how disgusting they could be, too. The worst offenders were a trio of girls sitting in the back of the room on the floor. And yes, the girl from the Skittle quote was a member. I'm pretty sure she took most of the Funyuns. The cacophony of noises coming from that girl was disturbing...and my wife barely batted an eye. How does one get used to this kind of barbarism? Perhaps I don't really want to know the answer to that questions.

At one point, my wife did step in to quiet them. Soon after, a boy in the front row let out a loud (yet impressive) belch. A few seconds went by with no sign of remorse from the boy. He eventually did say "excuse me"...after being prompted to do so, of course.

I was conflicted on whether or not I should be amused by this behavior. On one hand, I don't want to seem like I was encouraging it. I want to appear to be a responsible adult...a good role model. On the other hand, the rapid escape of audible gaseous emanations from the body is often pretty damn funny.

So, after chuckling a little, I tried to largely ignore it and went back to my Torpedo.

Luckily, lunch doesn't last that long in sixth grade.